Do you ever wonder if God watches your life like it’s his favorite comedy?

Well, God, as you know, here’s my latest episode. It all started when I realized my body is apparently mattress-picky and my new mattress was not cutting it. We had already moved all the furniture to our new house, leaving my old mattress at the other place with a plan to sell it. On a whim one night, I decided to do the old switcheroo and bring the old one to my new house, just two miles away.

I own a small SUV and a queen size mattress won’t go IN, but it will go ON. All three of my daughters joined me as we decided to give it the good-old heave-ho and strap it to the top of the car. I only had one rope and no way to cut it, but we’d make it work, because we always do.

As soon as we get the heavy thing outside I start to feel the Arizona wind kicking up. We are currently in monsoon season, which is when we can FINALLY get some rain in this desperately dry desert. Unfortunately, that rain tends to be ushered in with a ton of wind, followed by the bottom falling out of the sky.

Risk-taker that I am…I assured the girls we’d make it. It was only two miles away… right? We get the mattress up on the roof and start the tie down process. I can imagine most people would take time tying fancy knots to ensure the mattress would stay in place. Me, I just unrolled the windows and starting wrapping it around the car at breakneck speed. Who needs knots?

Once we finish, it is then that we realize we can’t actually open the doors now because the rope is not only holding the mattress in place, it is also holding the car doors in place. Oops. Time to get in Dukes of Hazard style, and let me tell you, some of us had a little more difficult time making it look as easy as Bo and Luke Duke did. I start to drive out as each one of us is hanging on to either the rope or the mattress itself, and as the rain threatens to pour down.

It is then that I realize the rain may be threatening us, but the wind is already terrorizing us. Ironically it seemed to find a home right in-between the mattress and the hood of the car. Ideally, any other day, I’d choose to leisurely drive the two miles and just throw on my hazard lights, taking my own sweet time, regardless of the speed bumps and the steep hill, but you can’t do that when it’s already starting to sprinkle.

Picture this, the girls screaming with laughter, hanging halfway out the car windows, me with one hand on the wheel and one holding down the wanna-fly-away mattress with the other. Well, except for that time Daisy looked and said both of my hands were out the window (#truth). We take all the turns, with squeals, from the tires and the girls, and eventually careen into the driveway. Hyper speed mode has new meaning to me now. The rain is starting and it would be such a shame to have gotten all the way to the house and then be rained on because the mattress rope is “technically” still tied to the car. We worked feverishly to unwind and throw the rope from one side to the other until the mattress finally broke free.

We made it. See…I told you we could do it.

P.S. Thanks God for holding back that downpour. #HopeYouEnjoyedTheShow


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