We have all felt the sting of unfairness.

A promotion goes to a less deserving employee

One woman has an unwanted pregnancy, while you struggle with infertility.

An uninsured driver is at fault and you have to foot the bill.

Lies or rumors are spread about you.

It hurts. Yet, if we sit with that hurt and let it become our focus, we wind up with bitterness and no change to the situation in the first place. Unfairness is a fact of life.

Yes, it stinks.

Life’s not fair.

The question is…How do we handle our feelings in a Godly way?

Let’s take a deep dive and examine our expectations. Our hurt and pain can begin with false expectations. We expect fairness.

Many years ago, my best friend was complaining about a situation which was quite unfair. While she was speaking God impressed upon me to ask her….Was it “fair” that Jesus, the only perfect person to ever walk on this planet, was wrongfully accused and brutally murdered for you? The answer was an obvious no. Jesus didn’t receive fairness, but somehow we, imperfect as we are, think we are entitled to it.

The great thing about having a wise best friend is that when I was later complaining about the unjustness being doled out to me by my ex-husband and the courts, she reminded me of what I had said to her. God bless her, I needed that. I confessed it and let that expectation go… again, not that it would be the last time though.

Our expectations must change. I’ve come to discover fairness is an opinion, not a fact. What’s best for me is most likely not best for someone else. If I randomly win a contest for something I don’t need, while another contestant who desperately needs it goes without, is it fair? With the concept of fairness being subjective, how can we possibly live in expectation of it? What we usually want is favor, not fairness. We want things to work out for OUR good.

Fairness relies on an outside party to make a decision in our favor. The good news is if we are Christians we can ask God directly for His favor.

A good man obtains favor from the LORD. Proverbs 12:2a (ESV)

Of course, God is not a favor slot machine. However, I have witnessed the favor of God on those in unfair circumstances. Sometimes it is in the strength to endure, or in the peace than emanates, or in an unwavering faith, or in His hand turning the odds into their favor.

Take heart in the fact that the One who created the sun and stars knows you by name and calls you His own. Everything this earth can offer you…

…a promotion

…a pregnancy


….a reputation

all pale in comparison to what God guarantees, an eternity in heaven.

Until we get there, we are stuck dealing with the unfair situations prevalent in this world. Of course, Moving Past “Unfair” is easier said than done, so I have outlined seven steps below and included a FREE download of a customizable chart you can begin using today which offers a step-by-step approach to processing your own situations. Make a decision…do you want to grow bitter or better? Well then…get moving!


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